No Hugs Allowed!

What a pathetic blog Lucca- nothing has gone up on this thing in weeks. We're supposed to be a society that's consistently connected to technology with the need to update everyone on everything we're doing at every minute. I hope you didn't start this blog and then prioritize things like your life and job ahead of it.

I don't even have anything to write, I just felt bad that the blog was neglected. Plus, I need to wait for the traffic to die down before I drive home from work.

I actually do have a very important, actually, soul saving, message to deliver. It's a little thing we like to call the Christian Side Hug, or CSH, which is fantastic. Now, I know religion and politics are supposed to be left on the sideline when it comes to public forums, and I hate when people try to infuse their facebook postings with these things. Honestly, I think I'm pulling out of facebook asap. I can't stand people's need to validate their lives by telling everyone how happy they are, how much they love their significant others, or how interesting their day was or their job is or whatever. No one cares, honestly, just stop. Are you that insecure about yourself that you need to tell everyone how great things are going? I worry the most about those who pile up the posts - are they bored, unhappy, regretful, or just nervous that people won't know how great their husband/wife/job/dog/children/house/vacation/dinner/social life is - because let's face it, nothing matters unless everyone else knows about it so they can see how great and interesting things are. Maybe instead of facebook, these people just need a hug.......make that, a Christian Side Hug!!!!

I love this - everything about it. My brother in laws were giving each other Christian Side Hugs during one of our holiday get togethers, and no this isn't incestuous and it's completely legal, I think. In fact, the Christian Side Hug is a safe, clean, promiscuous free way to guarantee you get into heaven. The origination is this - due to the racy nature of the straight on hug, which apparently is only a step below actual intercourse and for generations has tempted young folks with impure thoughts of wanting to get it on as their privates come face to face in the embrace, the Christian Side Hug is the safe way to show your mutual respect for one another without the temptation of becoming aroused which in turn sends you straight to hell. It's very easy to do - you face the person you'd like to hug as if you will hug them, and they do the same. But, you then step to their side, put your arm around their back and rest it gently on their opposite shoulder (be sure not to pinch or tickle as you reach for their opposite shoulder and only delicately rest your hand upon it as any pressure may be misconstrued as an advance). Then you both smile and sigh knowing that you have averted eternal damnation.

There's a link to a hysterical rap video and numerous other links detailing the importance of this act, but it's not worth the time to cut and paste it here. Feel free to Louggle it (Hot Tub Time Machine???) if you're looking to kill a few brain cells.

Just remember the next time you see an old friend that you haven't seen in years - if you care about this person and their future, you'll show them the ways of the CSH.